"Just be Yourself" or so they tell you...

How many times have you heard the phrase “just be yourself”? How many times have you said that to someone as words of encouragement? The truth is we have all heard it and said to someone  “just be yourself and it will be fine”, but is it really good advice?

Sometimes people are going to like the “real you” and from time to time you will run across someone that doesn’t click with your personality and doesn’t find your jokes or sarcasm near as funny and quick-witted as you think they should. So, what happens when the “real you” isn’t working? Should you change who you are to fit into a situation or certain environment; or should you just keep being yourself and see what happens? Because after all, you may end up growing on them and they could end up being your best friend, thinking you are the most awesome person they know when it is all said and done. On the other side of the coin is the chance is that there is no common ground and they still don't like you. Unless that person is going to be a key person in your life…Does it really matter if they like you or not?

For the majority of my adult life I have thought about this question. I’ve contemplated which is better, being who I am or fitting in so that I am who everyone else wants me to be. If I am true to myself, there is a chance that people won’t like me, “OH NO”! (Truth is I have spent way too much time worrying whether people will/won’t and do/don’t like me.

Honestly, sometimes the “real me” doesn’t always work (I’m sure those who know me have a hard time imagining that. Ha-ha!) I don’t want to intentionally hurt or offend someone, but let’s be honest, sometimes it happens. There are people out there who don’t like me for my thoughts and opinions (most likely they aren’t among my favorite people either, but that is a topic for another blog).

The last couple of years this question has weighed on my mind almost daily and the last month it has rarely left my thoughts. The conclusion that I have come to is that it is important for me to be me; regardless of whether people agree with me or not. When I am not true to who I am I miss out on what I feel in my heart I should be doing, out of fear that someone else is going to disagree with me or tell me I am wrong. I end up making myself feel completely sick and withdrawn, just so I don’t do or say the wrong thing. I miss out on opportunities and I miss out on making this MY life, to add color to the story of my life.  To be completely honest, I am tired of this book just being black and white!

So, I have been asking myself, “What does it mean to be yourself”? To me it means that you do what comes natural, you act in a way that isn’t forced or fake. You have to be willing to accept that you aren’t perfect and will most likely make mistakes. Don’t let those mistakes define you, learn from them and let them mold you to be the best YOU that YOU can be. Be courageous to say what you really think and don’t say something that you aren’t willing to own. People will respect you for that, even if they may have to think twice about it. It takes courage to be an original you instead of a fake replication of someone else.

The truth is that I never set out to make it a goal to upset or offend anyone. It is okay if I don’t if I don’t share the same opinion as every other person in this world, I don’t have to. We are all wired different, been through different experiences and have traveled different paths.

At the end of the day, I think we just need to keep being ourselves; keep being the best that we can be and not to change anything within our core person. Because let’s be honest, regardless of who we are and how many people we try to please, there are always going to be people who just don’t get it; and that’s okay.